BECOMING A LEADER WORTHY OF YOUR TEAM: BEYOND COMMAND AND CONTROL
- Dr. Moran Sciamama Saghiv
- 4 days ago
- 9 min read
I am Dr. Moran Sciamama-Saghiv, ex-Army officer and an expert of many years on screening processes (especially yet not limited to military with an emphasis on special forces; physical aspects). I offer consultation services and a variety of lectures related to the Israeli military. I would be happy to collaborate with you (if and when relevant). In the meanwhile, I invite you to read my blog post series on the screening processes for military, law enforcement, rescue units, first responders, etc.
In every unit, there are two kinds of figures in charge: the commander and the leader. A commander has authority; a leader has influence. A commander can issue orders; a leader earns obedience. A commander can make others act; a leader inspires them to follow. Leadership has always been about more than discipline or tactics. It’s about trust, respect, and example. The best leaders understand that people don’t fight for the loudest voice or the highest rank, they fight for their nation, their community, the person beside them, their families, and for the leader who stands with them, not above them.
To become a leader worthy of your team, you must cultivate courage, empathy, humility, and integrity so it serves as the invisible armor that binds teams together under fire and/or danger. This post explores what separates a true leader from a commander who merely shouts orders and how to embody the kind of leadership that earns loyalty, respect, and enduring trust.
Understanding the Difference Between a Commander and a Leader
A commander uses authority to move people. A leader uses example to move hearts.
The difference isn’t in the position, it’s in the mindset. A commander says, “Do this because I said so.” A leader says, “Follow me and we’ll do this together.” The first inspires compliance; the second inspires commitment. People under a commander obey the rules. People under a leader uphold the mission, even when no one is watching. In today’s complex operational environments, leadership demands emotional intelligence as much as tactical brilliance. A commander may get short-term results through pressure, but only a leader sustains morale, cohesion, and performance over time. Leadership, in essence, is not about authority, it’s about authenticity.
Leadership Begins with Self-Mastery
Before leading others, a leader must first lead themselves. You cannot demand discipline you don’t display, nor can you expect integrity if you cut corners yourself. Self-mastery means:
Emotional control under stress. People mirror your tone; if you panic, they will too.
Consistency. Your behavior sets the standard for what’s acceptable in the unit.
Physical readiness. People respect leaders who share their hardship, who train, sweat, and endure with them.
Accountability. Own your mistakes publicly. Nothing earns credibility faster than honesty in failure.
Leadership is not about perfection, it’s about example. When your team sees you wake before them, prepare harder than them, and remain calm when the situation collapses, they realize you are not just commanding, you’re leading from the front.
Earning Respect Instead of Demanding It
Respect cannot be ordered; it must be earned. Rank may get you salutes, but respect earns loyalty. A commander who relies on rank or fear builds a fragile hierarchy. When the pressure mounts, fear dissolves, and people retreat. But a respected leader builds unity in a sense that the team stands together because they want to, not because they must. A leader’s credibility is their currency. Spend it wisely by balancing empathy with expectation and show that you care enough to demand excellence and demand enough to show you care. How to earn that respect:
Listen before speaking. People notice leaders who care enough to understand their challenges.
Know your people. Learn their names, strengths, and personal struggles. When you see them as human beings, they see you as more than a rank.
Be visible. Don’t hide in the office or the vehicle. Be present on the ground.
Be fair. Praise publicly, correct privately. Favoritism or inconsistency destroys morale faster than any external enemy.
Communication: The Art of Connection
Commanders shout orders; leaders communicate purpose. In a combat and/or dangerous environment, clear communication saves lives. But communication isn’t just about issuing commands, it’s about clarity, trust, and shared understanding. People must know not only what they’re doing but also why it matters. Leaders communicate to educate, not to intimidate. They explain the mission, articulate intent, and ensure every team member knows their role and contribution to the larger picture. Communication builds trust, and trust transforms a group of individuals into a team. Three principles of effective communication in leadership:
Be concise but transparent. People deserve truth, not sugarcoated optimism.
Encourage upward feedback. Let your team voice concerns or ideas as it may save lives or improve performance.
Model calm communication under pressure. When chaos erupts, your tone becomes the anchor.
Building Trust: The Foundation of True Leadership
Trust is not granted by position; it’s built through consistency and authenticity. Trust is fragile but powerful. Lose it once, and authority becomes hollow. Maintain it, and your team members will follow you anywhere; not out of fear, but out of faith. Trust grows when leaders are transparent, approachable, and human. Share your experiences, your doubts, and your lessons learned. Vulnerability doesn’t weaken authority, it strengthens connection. Your soldiers must believe that:
You will never ask them to do what you wouldn’t do yourself.
You will stand up for them when they face hardship or mistakes.
You will share credit when they succeed and shoulder blame when things go wrong.
Leading from the Front: The Power of Example
The difference between leadership and command is measured in footsteps.
Commanders point; leaders lead the way. In every great military story, the most respected figures are those who lead from the front, those who eat last, carry more weight, and take more risk. These are not symbols of martyrdom; they’re acts of credibility. When people see you in the mud beside them, in the cold with them, or facing the same exhaustion they feel, they internalize that you are not above the mission, you are part of it. Leading from the front means demonstrating that the mission is worth your personal effort. That example echoes louder than any order ever could. A true leader:
Takes the hardest job when no one else volunteers.
Shares hardship but shields their team from unnecessary burdens.
Keeps composure in chaos.
Accepts responsibility when things fail and gives credit when they succeed.
Discipline with Humanity
Discipline is essential. Without it, no team functions. But discipline without empathy becomes tyranny. A commander who uses discipline as punishment breeds resentment. A leader who uses it as guidance builds resilience. The goal is not to break your team members into obedience but to shape them into professionals who hold themselves accountable. Effective leaders:
Enforce standards consistently but with understanding.
Correct mistakes as teaching moments, not public humiliations.
Balance authority with approachability.
Great leaders know when to be firm and when to be flexible. They distinguish between intentional negligence and human error. They understand that every team member carries unseen burdens, and that compassion can be a more powerful motivator than fear.
Developing Future Leaders, Not Followers
Your legacy as a leader isn’t measured by how many people obey you; it’s measured by how many you inspire to lead. Commanders seek control; leaders build successors. A unit where only one person leads is fragile. A unit where everyone feels empowered to lead when needed is unstoppable. Teach your soldiers to think critically, make decisions, and take initiative. Give them ownership of small responsibilities and guide them in learning from mistakes. Encourage them to question processes, find efficiencies, and contribute ideas.
A true leader multiplies leadership while creating a culture of accountability, initiative, and trust that endures beyond any single person or rank.
Courage and Humility: The Balance of True Strength
Courage and humility are the twin pillars of respected leadership. Courage means standing up for your team, facing adversity head-on, and admitting when you’re wrong. Humility means understanding that leadership is service, not superiority. Leaders who are too proud to admit mistakes lose credibility. Those too afraid to act lose authority. The balance of the two defines greatness; the courage to act decisively, and the humility to listen and learn.
In units, ego kills effectiveness. A humble leader earns loyalty because people feel safe to contribute ideas, point out flaws, and know they’ll be heard, not dismissed. That dynamic turns a group of individuals into a cohesive, adaptable unit.
The Leader as a Servant
The best leaders view their rank not as a privilege, but as a responsibility. They exist to serve their people, not to be served by them. Servant leadership isn’t softness rather it’s strength under control. It means prioritizing the needs, safety, and development of your team. It means removing obstacles, providing resources, and creating conditions for success. Your team members will follow you not because they have to, but because they want to. They will go the extra mile because they know you’re fighting for them just as fiercely as they fight for the mission. When a leader serves their team members, the team members serve the mission with heart.
The Role of Empathy in Command
Empathy might seem like an odd word in a world of discipline and orders, but it’s essential.
It doesn’t mean weakness, it means understanding. Empathy helps you:
Recognize when a person is struggling before it becomes a crisis.
Adapt your leadership style to individual personalities.
Communicate decisions in ways that maintain morale, even when delivering hard news.
Empathy builds loyalty. People don’t expect you to solve all their problems; they just need to know you see them. That recognition alone can renew morale, restore motivation, and remind them why they serve.
Leadership Under Pressure
Anyone can lead in comfort; real leadership is tested in crisis. When plans collapse and pressure rises, your team looks to you not just for orders, but for calm. Your composure sets the tone. A single leader’s steadiness can transform chaos into focus. To lead under pressure:
Breathe before reacting.
Prioritize clarity over speed.
Focus on people, not just the plan.
A leader’s job in chaos isn’t to appear invincible; it’s to make everyone else believe they can endure. Confidence is contagious; panic is, too.
The Weight of Responsibility
True leadership means bearing the emotional and moral weight of your decisions. Every choice affects lives, morale, and safety. Commanders sometimes distance themselves from that burden. Leaders carry it while fully aware that their words and actions echo far beyond the moment. Responsibility means being accountable for results, whether good or bad. It means standing before your team members when things go wrong, not hiding behind them. That courage earns an unspoken bond of respect that no title can command.
Leadership as Legacy
When your time in command ends, what will your team remember?
They won’t remember the memos or the inspections. They’ll remember how you made them feel, and whether they felt seen, respected, and motivated. They’ll remember if you stood by them when things went wrong. They’ll remember if you inspired them to be better. Leadership isn’t about the position you hold, but the impact you leave behind. A commander may be forgotten once the orders stop. A leader lives on through every person they inspired.
Conclusion: Be the Leader They Deserve
To be a leader worthy of your team members, you must embody the virtues you expect from them - courage, integrity, empathy, and resilience. Leadership isn’t found in shouting orders or asserting dominance; it’s found in earning trust, leading by example, and serving with purpose. People don’t follow a rank; they follow a person who proves, every day, that they deserve to lead. Be that person. Be the leader they deserve, not the commander they fear!!!
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